Disappointment

I know there's people out there that care about me. I know my family is wonderful and I do have friends and even random strangers, of whom I've met for less than 20 mins, would claim they "love" me and I'm so great. Blahjdnwksk. For whatever reason. For the good looks that I don't have or something or my ethnicity or my petiteness. Whatever it is, I don't see it.

But I want to be whatever they see and I don't want to be a disappointment.

The thing is I hate when people say "I'm sure you're a great artist". What do you have to validate your judgement? What the fuck? Because I'm nice to you? That doesn't mean I'm a great artist at all. I'm not. And it's too much to live up to. This expectation. I can't even bring myself to love what I've created.